Awesome news today…George Clooney is leaving his girlfriend Sarah Larson! Oh yes, Clooney is single again and free to come home with me.

Apparently he dumped her once last month at a film festival for being jealous. Then saw tabloids where she had her legs around some other dude. How stupid are you chick!!?? You have George Clooney at home and you’re getting up on some other dude? You suck! Go back to being a Vegas waitress and get away from my man. Plus your dress at the oscar’s looked like my grandma’s decorative bathroom soap. Skank.

How is it possible for one man to look so good? Really? Normally I’m not into older guys…but George Clooney is just fabulous. I don’t even like younger pics of him, give me that gray hair. I think this the only situation where I’ll prefer gray hair. But damn….He’s hot….