So today I was thinking “I really wish I could stand to pee.” This isn’t the first time I’ve thought about it, I’m pretty sure every girl has. Sitting down to pee really sucks sometimes. At home, not that much of a problem. But anywhere else…sucks. You don’t know who’s grody butt has been on that seat, or what they’ve done.

The worst is at a bar. There are bars I won’t go to just based on their bathroom status. I understand people are drunk, so am I, but I can get in and out of a bathroom without destroying it. Everything is wet, there’s tp everywhere, and girls just standing in your way doing nothing. Go out into the bar and chat…get out of the bathroom! And some girls really need to perfect the hover method. I see myself as a hover champion. The rules: Don’t sit on the seat and don’t pee on the seat. I got my aim down…so should you. Nothing is worse than going into a bar bathroom that you waited 15 minutes to get into, then get into the stall with the broken door, tp is sitting on the floor, and the seat has pee all over it. Yuck!

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of waiting for the bathroom…why does it take so long? Maybe it’s the drunkness, but it seems like I’m in and out of there. Why are some girls in the stall forever??!! The guys line moves so much faster. Until I learn how to stand and pee, we need to start a ladies room revolution. Who’s with me?…